No-one told us where to look
Never quite knowing what the rules are but desperate to stay in the game we call our lives, we spend much of our time and energy questioning our thoughts, emotions, choices and motives. Always on the lookout for the Truth, sometimes confident we know what we are looking for, other times doing the headless chicken thing, running aimlessly, but doing our best to give the impression that we know what we’re doing.
Like so many others, I spent much of my life in search of the ‘true’ job that I should be doing, the ‘true’ relationship I should be in, and the ‘true’ life that I was meant to be living. I knew it was somewhere out there, if only I could find it I would surely know it! Whenever I found a new job, a new relationship, a new country even, I thought I had it. Only to realise that wasn’t ‘it’ after all.
The way of your life is what you create
Sometimes during a coaching session I ask a client to imagine and describe a different life, a life they really want, where they are somebody they really want to be. Answers vary but many of them are along the lines of “but I. JUST. DON’T. KNOW.” or “what’s the point it’s not possible anyway” or “what, am I supposed to just make something up?”.
Exactly. You are!! Make it up, take some of what you have, create something new, and piece it all together as you very own personal puzzle of life. Make your life into whatever you want it to be!
If you’ve never considered it before, it may be an absurd, wild, weird thing to take in, but consider it for a moment.This is not about positive thinking (I ranted about that before). This is, as most things in life, about choice. And the choice is yours, and yours alone. Where will you start?
Stop looking. Listen
One of the things many of us were NOT taught as children is to trust our instincts, listen to ourselves, take a moment to consider what we really feel, want, desire. To know ourselves so that we can live our lives as ourselves. So now we’re grown up and it’s difficult to see the forest from the trees, let alone then inner truth from the never-ending self-talk that fills our heads, day and night.
Maybe you can find it in your day, in your crazy schedule that doesn’t need any more to-dos added, to take a brief moment and NOT DO ANYTHING. Just let your truth surface from the place within you where you hold curiosity, empathy, mercy. Let your truth fill you up, and listen to what it says.
- What is it that you now know about yourself that you didn’t know before?
- What are you going to do now in your life that is different than before?
- Who are you going to be in your life, and what impact will you have on the world?